According to a clear plurality of the Usual Suspects, January 3 will Drinking Straw Day. It has something to do with the patent issued to Marvin Stone for the drinking straw on this date in 1888. The linked Wikipedia article appears to confirm the broad outlines of the story.
Why anyone would think this event worthy of celebration, however, escapes us entirely.
Martin Luther was excommunicated on January 3, 1521.
And on January 3, 1861, slave-holding Delaware elected not to secede from the United States.
Usual Suspect Hallmark says January 3 is also Humiliation Day. There are presumably a great many other days that might deserve this dubious distinction; presumably it varies greatly from individual to individual. Hallmark offers particular reason for fixing tomorrow as the one and only Humiliation Day, although, perhaps, it might be reasonably tied to your standing in the office football bowl pool.
Maybe we should reconsider our initial opposition to encouraging the celebration of Drinking Straw Day.
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