Tuesday, March 26, 2013

Quirky Country Music Song Titles Day or Viagra Day

We can't make this stuff up; we wish we were that clever.

Wednesday really will be Viagra Day, as several of the Usual Suspects claim, because the FDA approved Viagra on March 27, 1998.

We can't imagine any place offering a drink special tomorrow night in honor of Viagra Day. Well, maybe a couple of places on Rush Street in Chicago. But only unofficially.

How would one openly celebrate Viagra Day anyway? (Get your collective minds out of the gutter, gentle readers.) We mean... what would one say? "Yes, I'm celebrating Viagra Day... but only for a friend?"

Quirky Country Music Song Titles Day is only slightly less unsettling. Songs like Gary Stewart's, "She's Actin' Single and I'm Drinkin' Doubles" (1974) or the 1982 Jerry Reed hit, "She Got the Goldmine (I Got the Shaft)," are barely quirky enough for this microminiholidayette. No, the song titles that pop up (bubble up?) in a quick Internet search are things like
  • I Still Miss You Baby, But My Aim's Gettin' Better,
  • If You Can’t Live Without Me, Why Aren’t You Dead?
  • If I Had Shot You When I Wanted To, I'd Be Out By Now,
  • My Wife Ran Off With My Best Friend and I Sure Do Miss Him,
  • I've Been Flushed From The Bathroom Of Your Heart,
  • Peekin’ Through the Knothole In Grandma’s Wooden Leg, or
  • I’m Sorry I Made You Cry, But At Least Your Face Is Cleaner.
Except as specified, we can't vouch for the authenticity of any of these... but we find them disturbing nonetheless.

Safer choices for celebration tomorrow may include Kite Flying Day (also referred to as Go Fly a Kite Day, but that carries with it an entirely different vibe, doesn't it?) or National Joe Day, a day on which you may call everyone, including yourself, "Joe." That's rather silly, and difficult to explain, but far less embarrassing, we think, than Viagra Day.

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