Go Topless Day tops today's list

Our very juvenile crack research staff insisted on it, and proposed all sorts of photos, too, none of which we can run here in the Family Section of the Intertubes.

But it really is Go Topless Day and there's a website and everything to prove it. According to that website, this is an international event. The big topless rally in the United States is supposedly scheduled for Washington, D.C., in front of the White House. An excerpt from the site:

During the protests, women will have the choice of going fully topless or wear red tape or something else to hide their (infamous!) nipples. They are also completely welcome to come and support this cause while being fully dressed if they prefer.

To show their support, men are encouraged to wear a bikini top since we are standing up for topless constitutional equality. Either we can all be topless or no one can. Bikinis will be available on location.

I'm not certain that any of the Founding Fathers could have imagined going topless as a matter of constitutional right.

OK, maybe Ben Franklin. But you can't name two.

August 26 is also Women's Equality Day (the Go Topless folks are pleased at the convergence) and also Toilet Paper Day.

According to Wikipedia, the earliest documented use of toilet paper goes back to 6th Century China. (The Romans used a sponge on a stick. Ick.)

Our crack research staff was unable to adequately explain why Toilet Paper Day is celebrated today. Or at all.