May 17 is Pack Rat Day. Forget about that. Celebrate Cool Papa Bell instead.

Unless you find something to sell on Antiques Roadshow, what can you get from being a pack rat anyway?

And, if you are a true pack rat, you'd never consider selling in the first place.

The truth is, those of us with cluttered desks or cubicles may be comfortable enough in our nests (God Bless this Mess) but we don't aspire to continue making bigger and bigger messes until we can be booked for Hoarding: Buried Alive.

May I suggest a much better alternative? May 17 is the birthday of James "Cool Papa" Bell, one of the greatest baseball players of all time.

No less an expert than Satchel Paige said that Bell was so fast he could turn off a light switch, then hop into bed and pull up the covers before the room got dark. In his autobiography, Maybe I'll Pitch Forever, Paige wrote, "If Cool Papa had known about colleges or if colleges had known about Cool Papa, Jesse Owens would have looked like he was walking." A favorite Paige story about Bell went something like this, "Let me tell you about Cool Papa Bell. One time, he hit a line drive right past my ear. I turned around and saw the ball hit his rear end as he slid into second."

Cool Papa Bell's baseball career was just about over by the time Jackie Robinson and Branch Rickey steamrolled the so-called gentleman's agreement that kept African Americans out of major league baseball, but Bell lived long enough to see himself enshrined in the Baseball Hall of Fame.

So, tonight, stop off for a quick one on the way home in honor of Cool Papa Bell.

A quick one. Get it?