Seven score and 10 years ago today....

Seven score and 10 years ago today the President of the United States spoke at the dedication of a military cemetery in Pennsylvania.

He wasn't the featured speaker; he was asked to make a few "appropriate remarks," perhaps only because his acceptance of an invitation to the event took the organizers by surprise.

The fellow pictured at right was the main attraction at the dedication ceremony. Former Massachusetts Gov. and Senator Edward Everett was a distinguished orator who had also served as the American Ambassador to the Court of St. James (i.e., as Ambassador to Britain) and as American Secretary of State.

As was the fashion at the time, Everett spoke for over two hours at the dedication. When he was done, the President rose to give his little talk.

"The world will little note, nor long remember what we say here," the President said, and the press was inclined to agree, at least with regard to the President's remarks. Almost all the reporters present hated his speech. His remarks were not only too short, in the prevailing view, they were trivial, even silly.

One listener, at least, disagreed. Edward Everett wrote to the President stating, "I should be glad if I could flatter myself that I came as near to the central idea of the occasion, in two hours, as you did in two minutes."

And the reputation of the President's speech on that occasion has improved considerably since the initial reviews.

The cemetery was at Gettysburg, and the President was Abraham Lincoln.

Today is 11-12-13

And that ought to count for something....

Stay Home Because You're Well Day

Image obtained from Wikipedia.

We'll get to Stay Home Because You're Well Day in a minute. But first, can-can you believe it? The first music-hall revue premiered on this date in 1886 at the Folies Bergère. According to Usual Suspect This Day in History:

The "Place aux Jeunes," featuring scantily clad chorus girls, was a tremendous success. The Folies women gradually wore less and less as the 20th century approached, and the show's costumes and sets became more and more outrageous. Among the performers who got their start at the Folies Bergère were Yvette Guilbert, Maurice Chevalier, and Mistinguett.

And, by the way, the can-can dates back to about 1830, appearing first in the working-class ballrooms of Montparnasse in Paris. The dance is not associated with the Folies Bergère, but it still seemed like a play on words worth making.

Our crack research staff nevertheless insisted that we clarify this for you. They said they spent quite a bit of time researching these matters -- but we were not surprised at this sudden dedication on the part of the staff. Basically, they can be counted on to be diligent and thorough whenever scantily-clad women may be involved.

But back, as promised, to Stay Home Because You're Well Day. That's what several of the Usual Suspects feature today -- but anyone celebrating Stay Home Because You're Well Day today may find him or herself observing Stay Home Because You're Now Unemployed Day tomorrow.

Today is also Computer Security Day. We found a website touting the day -- but it dates back to 2009. Perhaps the site was abandoned after it was hacked.

Wouldn't that be sad?

A more likely explanation, however, is that the proprietors of the site changed their access password again just before the Big Day and, in an effort to be as secure as possible, didn't write it down anywhere. Then, when they wanted to update the site for the 2010 celebration... well, they couldn't get back in.

And we conclude November with St. Andrew's Day. St. Andrew is the patron saint of Scotland, and his feast day today is a holiday in that part of the world.

Electronic Greetings Day?

Most of the Usual Suspects concur: Today is Electronic Greetings Day, a day for sending and receiving e-cards and email greetings.

We urgently recommend that you do not wish your letter carrier a Happy Electronic Greetings Day today. We are quite certain that this day is not a particularly festive one for the United States Postal Service. (In other news, first class postage will go up at the first of the year from 45 to 46¢. Email will remain free.)

Interestingly, Usual Suspect American Greetings -- which offers different electronic greeting cards for every day at its site -- is not among the Usual Suspects pushing Electronic Greetings Day today. Instead, today, American Greetings offers a Customer Is Wrong Day card. (Well, it's unrealistic to assume the customer is always right, isn't it?)

Today is the feast day of St. Brendan of Birr, a 6th Century Irish monk. But don't jump to any wrong conclusions. This is not the St. Brendan who may well have discovered America a good 550 or so years before the Vikings got here. That would be the 6th Century Irish monk St. Brendan of Clonfert, a/k/a St. Brendan the Navigator. St. Brendan of Birr and St. Brendan of Clonfert were allegedly good pals, however, and might not mind your mixing them up. (For the record, however, the Feast of St. Brendan the Navigator is May 16.)

Today is also National Lemon Cream Pie Day and National Square Dance Day. Bow to your partner -- but, if you've had too much lemon cream pie, don't bow too low. You don't want to put an unnecessary fright into anyone standing behind you this evening.

Shakespeare's wedding anniversary and Red Planet Day

This is not the Anne Hathaway
that married Shakespeare

On this day in 1582, 430 years ago, William Shakespeare married Anne Hathaway.

We asked our crack research staff to find us a picture of Mrs. Shakespeare. The illustration at left was the one they came up with. After hours and hours and hours of carefully reviewing images. We felt bad, at first, when we broke the news to them that this wasn't the Anne Hathaway we were looking for. We got over it immediately when the crack research staff responded in unison that they did not care what we were looking for; this one was definitely the one they were interested in.

Today is also Red Planet Day, marking NASA's launch of Mariner 4 on this date in 1964.

Some of the Usual Suspects also tout today as Make Your Own Head Day. Perhaps the theory is that two heads are better than one.

Today is also National French Toast Day. The French call it pain perdu, which means "lost bread," mainly because, after you've plunged your bread in the fixings for French toast, who the heck cares if the bread so dipped was just a teensy bit stale?

Pins and Needles Day

Pins and Needles Day sounds rather painful, but the Usual Suspects agree that the day does not commemorate actual pins or needles that one might step on or sit on but, rather, the 1937 opening of a Broadway revue of that name.

According to Wikipedia, the original cast were all cutters, basters, and sewing machine operators -- proud members of the International Ladies Garment Workers Union. The show only ran on Friday and Saturday nights because those were the only nights the all-union cast was not otherwise engaged making clothes.

Some of the Usual Suspects also tout today as the National Day of Listening -- but a quick check of the link will persuade you that the National Day of Listening was really on November 23. Somebody didn't hear the message correctly.

We've also seen suggestions that today is National Bavarian Cream Pie Day or Electric Guitar Day. Pope Urban II proclaimed the First Crusade on this date in 1095.

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Sheet music cover obtained from the Georgetown Bookshop.

Finding something to celebrate today is a piece of cake

Today, you see, is National Cake Day. Don't be a crumb and forget to celebrate.

It was on this day, exactly 90 years ago, that archeologists first entered King Tut's Tomb.

Today also used to be Cyber Monday. Gather 'round, kids, and we'll tell you the tale: Once, long, long ago, when computers (and you) were still in their infancy, people weren't too sure about shopping on the Internet. A lot of people didn't even have Internet access -- we're not talking about access on their phones, kids, we're talking about access at home.

So people would come into work on Cyber Monday and buy stuff online. Many employers grumbled. Others aided and abetted. Then Amazon conquered the world and made a "Cyber Monday" irrelevant.

Some of the Usual Suspects also note today as Shopping Reminder Day. We say nay. Who really needs a reminder that Christmas is coming?

Solemnity of Christ the King

Today marks the end of the Catholic liturgical year -- the Solemnity of Christ the King. This observance was instituted by Pope Pius XI in 1925 and found its present place in the liturgical calendar in 1969. The Season of Advent begins next, the start of the new liturgical year -- the anticipation of the Birth of Christ.

The situation of the Solemnity of Christ the King at the end of the liturgical year is meant to focus the faithful on the End Times, when Christ will return in glory to judge the living and the dead. (If the Mayans were right, this may happen sooner that we care to think about.)

Squeamish about the end of the world? Well, several of the Usual Suspects point out that today is also National Parfait Day. Others point out that one month from today is Christmas.

Did we really need that reminder?

Small Business Saturday, Celebrate Your Unique Talent Day

Small Business Saturday asks you to step away from the computer, forget about the mall, and patronize the merchants on Main Street instead.

Celebrate Your Unique Talent Day is fairly self explanatory. If your unique talent involves playing tunes by squeezing your arm pits, we suggest that you celebrate in private.

Our crack research staff has also asked us to point out the proprietress of Usual Suspect brownielocks.com has declared today to be her own personal microminiholidayette.

The Blog of Days is pleased to recommend Brownielocks Day for your celebrating enjoyment today.

Others may wish to observe today as Evolution Day. It was on this day, in 1859, that Charles Darwin published On the Origin of Species.

It was also on this day in 1971 that D.B. Cooper may have earned his own Darwin Award. He hijacked an airplane en route from Portland, Oregon to Seattle, Washington. He allowed the plane to land but demanded a $200,000 ransom before releasing the passengers. He directed the crew to take the plane back up and head toward Mexico City. Cooper bailed out somewhere along the way, using a parachute provided along with the money. When the plane landed at Reno, Cooper and the money were gone. Cooper has never been found -- and the FBI has long insisted that Cooper probably didn't survive the jump. He may have jumped into a thunderstorm somewhere in the vicinity of Mt. St. Helens. Both the linked Wikipedia article and This Day in History note that $5,800 of the ransom money was found in 1980 "in the sands along the north bank of the Columbia River, five miles from Vancouver, Washington." The Wikipedia article suggests that the way in which the money had deteriorated was consistent with the money having floated there a current, as opposed to being intentionally buried at the location where the discovery was made.

Dr. Who Day, Buy Nothing Day, Flossing Day

It was on this day in 1963 that the first episode of Dr. Who aired in Britain. A few years ago someone got the bright idea to commemorate that anniversary by declaring November 23 Dr. Who Day.

Our favorite Doctor was Tom Baker, the Fourth Doctor, perhaps because his adventures were the first to be shown in Chicago. Although the special effects left almost everything to be desired, the show has taken on a life of its own and a multi-generational following. What are they on, now? The 27th Doctor? Wasn't there some Gallifreyan limit on the number of times a Time Lord could regenerate? These are questions you may take up today.

Buy Nothing Day was -- not surprisingly -- instituted in revulsion to Black Friday. (Oh, yeah, we suppose today is also, technically, Black Friday. But, if you're driving around the mall parking lot in an increasingly desperate search for a semi-legal parking space you probably aren't reading this post. At least we hope you're not reading this post while you're driving!)

Flossing Day also has a Thanksgiving Day tie-in: Dental professionals urge you to floss today after the excess binging of yesterday.

Usual Suspect brownielocks.com mentions that today is also Sink Day -- also related to Thanksgiving in that, today, you may be inclined to eat leftovers hunched over the kitchen sink, every dish you own being stacked, unwashed, beneath.

You probably wished you had a TARDIS when all the relatives showed up for dinner yesterday, didn't you?

In addition to Thanksgiving, today is....

Go For A Ride Day. Over the river and through the woods should count, don't you think?

It's also Stop the Violence Day. This will not prevent the scheduled football games from being played today.

Usual Suspect Hallmark says today is National Start Your Own Country Day. We say push back from the Thanksgiving table before your expanding bulk requires its own seat at the U.N.

Today, interestingly, is the earliest day on which Thanksgiving can fall in the United States. The latest date would be November 28.

Hello, world, it's World Hello Day

The Usual Suspects pretty much agree that today is World Hello Day, if some are a bit vague about what it is and what it's for.

World Hello Day has a very sparse website that explains that, "Anyone can participate in World Hello Day simply by greeting ten people. This demonstrates the importance of personal communication for preserving peace." By simply saying 'hello' to 10 people, you can allegedly "send a message to leaders, encouraging them to use communication rather than force to settle conflicts."

It sounds like a stretch to us. On the other hand, what harm can it do to say hello?

However, if you insist on shutting yourself off from your fellow man, it may be particularly appropriate to note that today is World Television Day. You might have noted that today is also the 32nd anniversary of the day America found out who shot J.R. and think that this is the connection. But you'd be wrong. World Television Day is a microminiholidayette courtesy of the United Nations that doesn't so much celebrate the technology but, rather, "the philosophy which it represents."

What possible philosophy can be behind Honey Boo Boo?

On November 21, 1931 the Notre Dame football team played the University of Southern California. Notre Dame came in 6-0-1; they'd not lost in 26 games. Indeed, the Irish had not been beaten since 1928 -- when they'd lost to USC.

That unbeaten streak would end on this date in 1931. The final: Southern Cal 16, Notre Dame 14. The current Fighting Irish squad had better not take this weekend's game for granted.

And here's something else seasonal: The Mayflower Compact, the first governing document of the Plymouth Colony, was executed on this date in 1620.

Universal Children's Day and Name Your PC Day

We warned you yesterday that today would be Universal Children's Day.

Were you to click on the link, you'd discover that this is a United Nations observance, not a pan-Galactic one, the use of the term "universal" notwithstanding.

Today is also Name Your PC Day. If you wish to participate, we suggest that it's best to give your computer a name that it likes, lest it get mad at you. You may be able to throw it out, but it can ruin your life first.

Some of the Usual Suspects proclaim today National Peanut Butter Fudge Day. Perhaps you can give some peanut butter fudge to a child today, but do not attempt to feed any to your PC, even if you have given it a name.

Not enough? Well it is also Teachers' Day in Vietnam and the 65th wedding anniversary of Britain's Queen Elizabeth II and Prince Philip.

Seven score and nine years ago, Abraham Lincoln gave a short speech at a cemetery dedication

The cemetery was in Gettysburg, Pennsylvania. "The world will little note, nor long remember what we say here," Lincoln told his audience -- and was he ever wrong about that.

Perhaps tonight you might consider reciting the Gettysburg Address yourself.

Remembering the Gettysburg Address beats the heck out of the competition today -- World Toilet Day or Have a Bad Day Day. Yes, when people constantly prattle 'have a nice day,' it can get on one's nerves -- but telling someone to have a bad day seems like an open invitation to a smack in the jaw.

Some of our Usual Suspects says today is International Men's Day. That tomorrow is designated Children's Day or Universal Children's Day will probably come as no surprise. That follows rather naturally, doesn't it?

A real Mickey Mouse Microminiholidayette

No, seriously: Several of the Usual Suspects designate today as Mickey Mouse Day or Mickey Mouse's Birthday and, apparently, they're right. The very first Mickey Mouse cartoon, Steamboat Willie premiered on this date in 1928. (Wikipedia says Mickey was included in two shorts earlier in 1928, but neither found a distributor; therefore, even the Disney Empire considers this Mickey's birthday.)

An alternative for today is William Tell Day. It was on this day in 1307 -- 705 years ago -- that William Tell shot the apple off his son's head, an act that, according to legend, led (at least indirectly) to the founding of the Swiss Confederation -- today, the nation of Switzerland.

Today is also reckoned by some as Occult Day and National Vichyssoise Day. We don't know for certain what vichyssoise is, but our crack research staff assures us that it is not any sort of occult potion.

The touch-tone telephone was first introduced to the public on this day in 1963. This is important. Can you imagine your smartphone with a rotary dial?

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Mickey Mouse image obtained from Wikipedia

Did your hike yesterday with the bluenose next door go badly?

We're sorry, of course. However, we here at The Blog of Days can not take responsibility for your inability to get along with your neighbors.

But we can offer a partial solution.

Today is National Unfriend Day. ABC-TV late night host Jimmy Kimmel may have intended this as a one-time-only even in 2010, but it seems to have crept into the calendars of a number of the Usual Suspects: Today is the day you can drop all of the many "friends" you've never actually met from your Facebook list. Start with your intolerant neighbor.

On a far healthier note, today is National Adoption Day. It's also National Homemade Bread Day and World Prematurity Day, a day set aside to recognize the problems of premature births and the challenges that preemies face.

Today is also Guinness World Record Day. We may not set any world records here at The Blog of Days. But we do know how to appreciate an occasional Guinness.

Would you like fries with that? Today is National Fast Food Day

Usual Suspect Punchbowl.com proclaims today National Fast Food Day.

Fast food has come under increasingly harsh attack from so many quarters in recent years -- the Mayor of New York recently presumed to decide how big soft drink cups may be in the Big Apple -- an employee of the Cancer Prevention and Nutrition Section of the California Department of Public Health attempted (unsuccessfully) to bring a class action suit against McDonald's because she found it difficult to say 'no' to her six-year old daughter when the little girl wanted to go to Mickey D's for a Happy Meal -- we could go on, but you already have the idea.

Well, today especially, you can ignore these many and increasingly scurrilous attacks on one of our few thriving industries: Order your burgers with extra grease today. Supersize your fries without shame.

And for all the vegans and foodies and health nuts out there tsk-tsk-tsking, we say today is also the International Day for Tolerance. Technically, the United Nations set this day aside to "to encourage tolerance, respect, dialogue and cooperation among different cultures, civilizations and peoples," but don't bluenoses and fast food afficionados increasingly seem to belong to different civilizations, even when they are next door neighbors?

We here at The Blog of Days, in the spirit of compromise and public service, venture to offer this suggestion: Today, fast-food-eaters, after you've had your quota of Big Macs or Whoppers, knock on the door of the health nut next door -- and invite him or her to accompany you on a nice, long walk. You see, today is also Take a Hike Day. Work off some of those fries and turn the route of your hike into common ground.

America Recycles Day

Today is America Recycles Day.

Look, we here at The Blog of Days understand that recycling can be a big pain. Sorting and saving one's garbage seems... unseemly. And schlepping old batteries here, newspapers there, and plastics somewhere else besides gets old, especially when the trash collector comes to the curb or to the alley behind the house.

But, on America Recycles Day, make a vow -- take a pledge -- promise to do something more than you're doing now. Cut back on your plastic bags; consider reusable cloth bags for your groceries whenever possible. A lot of grocers recycle plastic bags -- take your old bags with you (and your new cloth bags) when you next head out to the store. In Chicago, it seems as if every school is collecting newspapers (and old junk mail). Why throw this stuff out when places nearby are begging for your stuff?

And, if you're still in the mood for taking pledges, today is the 37th Great American Smokeout.

Looking for something to celebrate that doesn't involve taking a pledge? Today is also I Love to Write Day, a microminiholidayette founded in 2002 by John Riddle, a Delaware author and ghostwriter. Of course Mr. Riddle wants you to write more, but he's not demanding any pledges.

We thought yesterday was too crowded with too many minor events. Usual Suspect Hallmark may have agreed. Hallmark says today is National Clean Out Your Refrigerator Day. If you choose to observe this microminiholidayette today, we do hope you recycle any glass jars or aluminum foil that you pull out of the fridge.

National Pickle Day -- and all sorts of other microminiholidayettes

Today is like a typical cable TV channel search: There are all sorts of listings, but nothing is really on.

It's a crowded field today, in other words, but a weak one. National Pickle Day may be the most exciting on today's list.

Loosen Up, Lighten Up Day is another contender. Not terrible advice -- just not a really exciting holiday idea.

And the list gets even more mediocre: One of our favorite Usual Suspects, brownielocks.com, points out that the U.N. marks today as World Children's Day and World Diabetes Day. Brownielocks.com also suggests that today is National Educational Support Professionals Day (meaning hug your teacher's aide today?) or International Girls Day (half the population of Earth gets one day?) or National American Teddy Bear Day.

Think about that one for a moment: Girls get one day (which they have to share with children and diabetics), but this is at least the third teddy bear day we've picked up on here at The Blog of Days. No, seriously, there was Take Your Teddy Bear Somewhere Day at some point in October (there was some controversy as to when the day actually fell, and where the teddy bear should be taken) and Teddy Bear Picnic Day in July.

Usual Suspect Gone-ta-pott.com promotes today as Clean Out Your Refrigerator Day. But leave the pickles alone? At least for today?

World Kindness Day, Actors' Day

Many of the Usual Suspects proclaim today World Kindness Day, an observance promoted by the Random Acts of Kindness Foundation. (If you're planning ahead, Random Acts of Kindness Week will be February 11-17, 2013.)

On the other hand, Usual Suspect Days of the Year says that today is Actors' Day, a day for theatrical pretending.

If you wish to combine the observances, but are an ordinary run-of-the-mill grouch, you might perhaps pretend to be kind today. Perhaps you will stay in character tomorrow.

For Hindus, today is the first day of Diwali, the "Festival of Lights."

And, our crack research staff assures us, today is also the 30th anniversary of the dedication of the Vietnam Veterans Memorial in Washington, D.C.