And, now, for something completely different

I'll bet you thought I was going to say that today is Monty Python Day, didn't you?

But it's not. My crack research department just advised me that May 10 may have been Monty Python Day -- and we all might have enjoyed that more than National Shrimp Day -- but, then, that just gives us something to look forward to together in May 2013, doesn't it?

No, the something different today is a change in tone. This week, we've had the solemnity of Memorial Day and the cosmic consequences of the Fall of Constantinople on End of the Middle Ages Day.

It's gotten too heavy around here.

That's why today we celebrate My Bucket's Got A Hole In It Day, a day honoring a kids' song.  Remember?

There's a hole in the bucket,
Dear Liza, dear Liza
There's a hole in the bucket,
Dear Liza, there's a hole.

Then fix it, dear Henry,
Dear Henry, dear Henry
Then fix it, dear Henry,
Dear Henry, fix it.

You're not seriously interested in the rest of the lyrics, are you?  If you insist, click the Read More button.  But don't blame me.

With what shall I fix it,
Dear Liza, dear Liza?
With what shall I fix it,
Dear Liza, with what?

With a straw, dear Henry,
Dear Henry, dear Henry
With a straw, dear Henry,
Dear Henry, with a straw.

But the straw is too long,
Dear Liza, dear Liza
But the straw is too long,
Dear Liza, too long

Then cut it, dear Henry,
Dear Henry, dear Henry
Then cut it, dear Henry,
Dear Henry, cut it.

With what shall I cut it,
Dear Liza, dear Liza?
With what shall I cut it,
Dear Liza, with what?

With an axe, dear Henry,
Dear Henry, dear Henry
With an axe, dear Henry,
Dear Henry, an axe.

The axe is too dull,
Dear Liza, dear Liza
The axe is too dull,
Dear Liza, too dull

Then sharpen it, dear Henry,
Dear Henry, dear Henry
Then sharpen it, dear Henry,
Dear Henry, sharpen it.

With what shall I sharpen it,
Dear Liza, dear Liza?
With what shall I sharpen it,
Dear Liza, with what?

With a stone, dear Henry,
Dear Henry, dear Henry
With a stone, dear Henry,
Dear Henry, a stone.

The stone is too dry,
Dear Liza, dear Liza
The stone is too dry,
Dear Liza, too dry

Then wet it, dear Henry,
Dear Henry, dear Henry
Then wet it, dear Henry,
Dear Henry, wet it.

With what shall I wet it,
Dear Liza, dear Liza?
With what shall I wet it,
Dear Liza, with what?

With water, dear Henry,
Dear Henry, dear Henry
With water, dear Henry,
Dear Henry, with water.

How shall I get it,
Dear Liza, dear Liza,
How shall I get it,
Dear Liza, how shall I?

In the bucket, dear Henry,
Dear Henry, dear Henry
In the bucket, dear Henry,
Dear Henry, in the bucket.

There's a hole in the bucket.
Dear Liza, dear Liza
There's a hole in the bucket,
Dear Liza, there's a hole.

If you wanted all this because you and your peers plan to sing this tonight at your local, please be sure to send me a note about how long it takes before the proprietor asks you to take your trade elsewhere.