Thursday is National Relaxation Day, Fort Dearborn anniversary

Granted, National Lazy Day was just last week (August 10, if you're fussy about it).

Nevertheless, all the Usual Suspects line up behind Thursday, August 15 being National Relaxation Day.

No doubt the close proximity of these two microminiholidayettes will greatly impress the boss should he or she catch you reading this online.

But just tell the boss to chill, OK?

LEGAL DISCLAIMER: Please note that The Blog of Days does not guarantee that you will continue to remain employed should you follow the foregoing advice. Today's post is, and all posts on The Blog of Days are, provided for solely the entertainment of any readers who happen upon this page. Nothing in this post is meant to suggest any actual advice on how to handle your boss, nor is The Blog of Days responsible for anything you may say to your boss as a result of reading the above and foregoing post or for anything that your boss may say to you as a result thereof.

With that out of the way, we can move on. What we used to call the Fort Dearborn Massacre took place on August 15, 1812. The event is now more properly referred to as the Battle of Fort Dearborn, but it still involves the attack by Potawatomi warriors on an American Army garrison -- a garrison which had that morning marched out of Fort Dearborn, with women and children in tow, intending to strategically retreat to Fort Wayne, Indiana.

The Emperor Napoleon trying to scratch an itch?

The American military command feared that Fort Dearborn (now Chicago) was too exposed -- too far into the wilderness -- to hold its own as British agents agitated for allies among the indigenous population. The fort's commander had told local native leaders that he'd been ordered to withdraw (the Indians thought the Army had agreed to give them the fort's surplus weapons and supplies when the fort was abandoned -- thus they were miffed when these were burned instead -- and they also thought that the Army had promised to pay a large sum for safe escort to Fort Wayne -- but the Americans did not think they'd made any such agreement). According to the linked Wikipedia account, on August 14, "a Potawatomi chief called Black Partridge warned [American Captain Nathan Heald] that the young men of the tribe intended to attack, and that he could no longer restrain them." Nearly half of the American troops were killed in the engagement (26 of 54 regulars), as were all 12 militiamen, 12 of the 18 children, and two of the nine women that accompanied the troops. Everyone else was taken prisoner. Some more would die in captivity; others would be ransomed. The victorious Potawatomi burned the fort down, but it was rebuilt in 1816.

Napoleon Bonaparte was born on August 15, 1769. Scottish novelist Sir Walter Scott (Ivanhoe, for example) was born on August 15, 1771.

Julia Child was born on August 15, 1912.

"The Old Roman," Charles Comiskey was born on August 15, 1859. The 1988 movie, Eight Men Out (and Eliot Asinof's book, 8 Men Out, on which the movie is based) take the position that Comiskey practically incited the 1919 Black Sox Scandal.

August 14 is Navajo Code Talkers Day

Military codes are made; military codes are broken.

During World War II Allied code breakers figured out German and Japanese codes -- the secret work done at Bletchley Park and other code breaking sites played a vital role in the eventual Allied victory.

And, of course, the Axis powers had their own code breakers, too.

But one code the Axis never cracked was the code employed by Navajo Indians serving in the U.S. Marines, the Navajo Code Talkers. According to the Navajo Code Talkers website,

[The Navajo code] originated as approximately 200 terms—growing to over 600 by war's end—and could communicate in 20 seconds what took coding machines of the time 30 minutes to do. It consisted of native terms that were associated with the respective military terms they resembled. For example, the Navajo word for turtle meant "tank," and a dive-bomber was a "chicken hawk." To supplement those terms, words could be spelled out using Navajo terms assigned to individual letters of the alphabet—the selection of the Navajo term being based on the first letter of the Navajo word's English meaning. For instance, "Wo-La-Chee" means "ant," and would represent the letter "A". In this way the Navajo Code Talkers could quickly and concisely communicate with each other in a manner even uninitiated Navajos could not understand.

The Navajo were not the only code talkers, nor was code talking invented for World War II: According to Wikipedia Cherokee and Choctaw code talkers aided Allied efforts in World War I. Hitler knew about these code talkers and, as part of his war preparation, ordered a team of 30 anthropologists to study and learn Native American languages. And because we knew that Hitler knew, Native American code talkers were used mostly in the Pacific Theater (although, Wikipedia adds, there were Comanche code talkers used in the Normandy invasion, landing at Utah Beach, and 27 Meskwaki code talkers -- members of the Fox tribe -- used in the North African campaign).

August 14 was set aside as Navajo Code Talkers Day in 1982, however, by President Ronald Reagan, specifically to honor the surviving Navajo code talkers. From the linked Wikipedia article:

The Navajo code talkers were commended for their skill, speed and accuracy accrued throughout the war. At the Battle of Iwo Jima, Major Howard Connor, 5th Marine Division signal officer, had six Navajo code talkers working around the clock during the first two days of the battle. These six sent and received over 800 messages, all without error. Connor later stated, "Were it not for the Navajos, the Marines would never have taken Iwo Jima."

David Crosby (of the Byrds and Crosby, Stills, Nash, Young and various permutations of the foregoing) turns 72 on August 14. Steve Martin turns 68 on Wednesday as well.

Depending on how you figure things, August 14 can also be V-J Day. The Japanese agreed to surrender on August 14. On that same day, Japan's Emperor recorded a speech advising of this decision. Now the speech wasn't actually broadcast in Japan until noon on August 15, and the announcement wasn't released to the United States until that same time -- but, owing to the International Date Line, it was still August 14 here. Thus, V-J Day can be August 14 or 15 -- or (officially, according to the American government) September 2 (because that is the day on which the instrument of surrender was formally signed). (Trust a government to mess up something easy: The signing was necessary, of course. But it was anticlimactic.)

Anyway, if all this isn't enough for you, a number of the Usual Suspects add that Wednesday will be National Creamsicle Day.

Tuesday is International Left Handers Day

You know a microminiholidayette is getting near the big-time when it has its own website (where we found this image, in fact). Another indication is the fact that the Usual Suspects are in rare accord: All, or near enough, proclaim Tuesday, August 13 as International Left Handers Day.

Left-handers have had to endure persecution and prejudice down through the ages: It is no accident that the English word "sinister" is the Latin word for "left" and unlucky. The Gospel of Matthew (25:31-41) puts the saved on God's right-hand side, the damned on the left. The Palmer Method was the undoing of many natural southpaws for several generations -- and, even today, in most classrooms, scissors remain a continuing trial.

On the other hand, science apparently teaches that left-handers are right-brain dominant.

That means left-handers are the only ones in our right minds.

There are a wide variety of Tuesday birthdays as well. Sharpshooter Annie Oakley was born Phoebe Ann Moses on August 13, 1860. Bert Lahr, the Cowardly Lion in the classic movie The Wizard of Oz, was born Irving Lahrheim on August 13, 1895. Director Alfred Hitchcock was born August 13, 1899. Legendary golfer Ben Hogan was born on August 13, 1912. Cuban dictator Fidel Castro turns 87 on Tuesday.

But the guaranteed-to-make-Baby-Boomers-feel-old special birthday Tuesday is that of Danny Bonaduce. He turns 54 on August 13. And, while you may not want to admit it, perhaps, not even to yourself, you can easily pick Bonaduce out of this Partridge Family photo, can't you?

We remember when vinyl records and the IBM PC were 'state of the art' -- but we weren't here when Sue was alive

Monday, August 12 is Vinyl Record Day. Why august 12? Well, some sources claim Edison invented the phonograph on this date in 1877 (although others say Edison didn't complete the first phonograph until November 21 of that year). And Edison recorded sound on tinfoil first, later on wax (leading eventually to the old cliche "stacks of golden wax"). But, whenever Edison actually invented the phonograph, vinyl wasn't used as a medium for sound recording until after World War II.

There are probably 45 other days (or at least 33⅓ days) which would be as appropriate or more for Vinyl Record Day -- but, nevertheless, Monday is the big day.

Interestingly, vinyl records are not merely historic artifacts. Although they were virtually pushed out of the stores by CDs in the 80s and 90s (and CDs seem near extinct themselves, these days) vinyl records have begun to make a comeback in the last few years.

Monday is also IBM PC Day. It was on August 12, 1981 that IBM announced the release of personal computers to be sold for home use. That link will take you to IBM's complete press release announcing the new product but here is a brief excerpt from that now-historic document:

The IBM Personal Computer can be tailored to fit the user's needs. A basic system for home use attached to an audio tape cassette player and a television set would sell for approximately $1,565, in IBM Product Centers, while a more typical system for home or school with a memory of 64,000 bytes, a single diskette drive and its own display would be priced around $3,005. An expanded system for business with color graphics, two diskette drives and a printer would cost about $4,500.

And those were 5½ inch diskette drives, by the way.

A T-Rex named Sue.  Photo obtained from Wikipedia.

The United Nations offers International Youth Day as an August 12 observance. Usual Suspect Holiday Insights would focus attention instead on one particular type of youth, namely, the middle child. Holiday Insights tells us that Monday, August 12 is Middle Child's Day.

Isaac Singer received a patent for his sewing machine on August 12, 1851. This leads a number of the Usual Suspects to add Sewing Machine Day to the August 12 docket. And, finally, Sue, the tyrannosaurus rex skeleton that now resides in Chicago's Field Museum, was discovered on August 12, 1990.

Presidential Joke Day, Ingersoll Day, good and bad baseball milestones

On August 11, 1984, President Ronald Reagan got ready for his weekly radio address with a mike check. According to Wikipedia, his little remark (meant only for the technicians) was a riff on the opening line of the morning's prepared speech. His speech called for him to say, "My fellow Americans, I'm pleased to tell you that today I signed legislation that will allow student religious groups to begin enjoying a right they've too long been denied — the freedom to meet in public high schools during nonschool hours, just as other student groups are allowed to do." Instead, just for giggles -- and never dreaming that this would get out -- he said, "My fellow Americans, I'm pleased to tell you today that I've signed legislation that will outlaw Russia forever. We begin bombing in five minutes."

It got out. (The disgruntled technician who leaked the tape may have been a Democrat. Or, given the text of the actual speech, an atheist. Maybe both.)

The Russians (then more formally known as the Soviets) were miffed. No apparatchik could survive long with a madcap sense of humor. Or any sense of humor at all. Indeed, in this one respect, if this one only, the old Soviets could have passed for Germans (to their mutual mortification). The Soviets took the President's weak joke seriously (or claimed to) and demanded an apology. From there the story just got bigger and bigger to the point where most of the Usual Suspects tell us that August 11 is Presidential Joke Day.

If President Reagan's faithless technician that morning was an atheist, perhaps he was miffed that the President failed to acknowledge Ingersoll Day. Brownielocks.com and most of the other Usual Suspects offer Ingersoll Day as a possible observance today.

Lawyer and Civil War veteran Robert G. Ingersoll, "the Great Agnostic" and freethinker whom the Humanist Institute commemorates today, was born on August 11, 1833. Wikipedia also notes that Ingersoll was Attorney General of the State of Illinois from 1867-1869. As a Republican.

That's certainly something you'd not be likely to see these days. We do not refer to any scarcity of Republican officeholders who reject religion -- there's no doubt a lot of skeptics and scoffers in both parties, even if they're not as candid about it as was Mr. Ingersoll. No, we just can't help but note how odd it is to think of a Republican rising to statewide office in Illinois in our current day and age....

But forget politics. We promised baseball milestones, good and bad.

First the good: Babe Ruth hit his 500th home run on August 11, 1929 in a game against the Cleveland Indians. Lou Gehrig stroked his 27th homer of the season in that game as well, but the Yankees committed four errors and the Tribe prevailed 6-5. And the game -- a Yankees game, mind you -- was played in two hours exactly.

But then the bad: Once the last game on August 11, 1994 was in the books, major leaguers went on strike. The rest of the season was canceled. There were no playoffs or World Series.

Fans were angry at baseball and stayed away in droves in 1995 when the parks finally reopened. Cal Ripken would help rekindle America's love affair with its national pastime in September 1995 when he broke the aforementioned Lou Gehrig's streak of consecutive games played. But what really put the fannies back in the seats was the amazing increase in the number of home runs -- chicks were digging the long ball -- McGwire dueled with Sosa -- records set by Ruth and Maris were easily eclipsed. It was almost as if some magic potion had been added to the players' training table.

As we now know, of course, the magic potion was steroids, all too frequently injected in clubhouse bathrooms. MLB looked the other way for the longest time because revenues were going back up. Money was being made. Careers were made... and ruined. Sportswriters -- those born-again virgins who police entry into Baseball's Hall of Fame -- knew darn good and well that PEDs were being liberally used -- but they cashed their checks and laughed along with Sammy Sosa when he said his new muscle-bound physique came from "Flintstones Vitamins." And he we are, almost 20 years later, trying to root out drug contamination in America's game, still suffering from the effects of the 1994 players' strike.

Sunday will also be Alcatraz Day. The first inmates of that notorious prison arrived on the island on August 11, 1934.

And the Mayan Long Count Calendar -- you remember, the calendar that was supposed to end, and with it the world, last December? -- well, according to Wikipedia, the Mayan Long Count Calendar began on August 11, 3114 B.C.

August 10 is Lazy Day

Lazy Day seems like such a good idea, doesn't it?

But, lazy as we are, we would be remiss were we to omit that Saturday, August 10 is also Garage Sale Day, S'Mores Day, and Smithsonian Day.

Yes, the Smithsonian Institution was created on August 10, 1846 when President James K. Polk signed legislation specifying how to spend James Smithson's 1829 bequest. James Smithson was an Englishman who died in Italy -- and he never laid eyes on the United States -- but he left the new nation his entire fortune, requiring America to establish an institution (to be named in his honor) "for the increase and diffusion of knowledge."

Image from RhondaFleming.com

And August 10 is the 90th birthday of actress Rhonda Fleming, born Marilyn Louis in Hollywood, California on August 10, 1923.

Watching a Rhonda Fleming Picture, A Connecticut Yankee in King Arthur's Court, would be a very appropriate way to commemorate Lazy Day: One of the highlights of the film is the song "Busy Doing Nothing," sung by Bing Crosby, William Bendix, and Sir Cedric Hardwicke.

Herbert Hoover was born on August 10, 1874. Antonio Banderas turns 53 on August 10.

SABR, the Society for American Baseball Research was founded on August 10, 1971. Before that, we got all the stats we needed on the back of baseball cards. The baseball cards came with gum -- and WAR meant a conflict between or among nations.

According to Usual Suspect History.com, it wasn't until August 10, 1776 that news of the American Declaration of Independence arrived in London.

National Polka Lovers Day, Book Lover's Day, Veep Day

Last year's post on National Polka Lovers Day remains one of the most popular ever published on this blog. This means one of two things: Either there is a hitherto unsuspected yearning among the huddled masses for all-things-Myron-Floren or, for reasons one can only speculate about, spammers really like polka.

Be that as it may, tomorrow, August 9 is National Polka Lovers Day. We hope your toes don't get stomped too badly amidst the gaiety and glamor.

Last year we suggested that Send an Email Day was the leading alternative to Polka Day, and Usual Suspect American Greetings does offer it as a suggestion for Friday.

But several of the Usual Suspects state that Friday will also be Rice Pudding Day and Veep Day.

Nobody knows or cares where Rice Pudding Day came from.

Given American ignorance of history, the origins of Veep Day may also be obscure to anyone under 50, but it was on August 9, 1974 that Vice President Gerald R. Ford succeeded Richard M. Nixon as President of the United States. Nixon had resigned in disgrace. Ford would soon pardon Nixon, paving the way for Jimmy Carter's election in 1976. However, for at least a brief moment in August 1974 most American found in Mr. Ford a breath of fresh air. Addressing the nation after taking office, President Ford stated "our long national nightmare is over."

Usual Suspect Holiday Insights says that Friday is also Book Lovers Day and Usual Suspect Brownielocks.com adds that Friday is also the International Day of the World's Indigenous Peoples, a microminiholidayette courtesy of the United Nations. If you live where you were born and where your parents and grandparents were born before you, Indigenous Peoples Day might be about you, but probably isn't, even though you are, in the ordinary sense, indigenous to the region of your birth. On the other hand, if your ancestors were cruelly uprooted and forced to settle on worthless land where only casinos now grow, Indigenous Peoples Day might actually be about you, even though you are strongly inclined to reject any notion that you are indigenous to the region where you now reside, at least when the word "indigenous" is given its common, ordinary definition. Actually, if you take a long enough view, no human is indigenous to any part of the world except Africa, from whence we all came. If all this confuses you, well, you can always celebrate Polka Lovers Day.

August 8: Doing creative things with zucchini -- and more

Watch out for clandestine zucchini placements tonight.

Usual Suspect Brownielocks.com is among those telling us that Thursday, August 8 is designated The Date to Create, presumably because "create" rhymes with "eight" (cre-ate on eight-eight). If you're the creative type, perhaps you can do something with this.

Nearly all of the Usual Suspects proclaim Thursday to be National Zucchini Day and several of them add that Thursday night will be Sneak Some Zucchini Onto Your Neighbor's Porch Night.

Why would anyone want to do that?

On August 8, 1974, Richard Nixon announced that he was resigning as President of the United States. The resignation was effective at noon on August 9.

The Secret Society of Happy People has proclaimed August 8 as Happiness Happens Day. And it probably does.

Occasionally.

But more power to them if they're happy. Maybe on Thursday you can find an excuse to be happy too, at least for a little while.

Dustin Hoffman in The Graduate (1967)

Maybe Dustin Hoffman will be happy on August 8. The actor turns 76 Thursday (born August 8, 1937).

Paul Hogan, the Australian actor perhaps best known for his portrayal of Michael J. "Crocodile" Dundee, was born on August 8, 1939.

African American explorer Matthew Henson, the man who may have been the first to set foot at the Geographic North Pole (on Admiral Peary's 1909 expedition) was born on August 8, 1866.

Astronaut James Irwin, the eighth man to walk on the Moon (the Lunar Module Pilot on the Apollo 15 mission) died on August 8, 1991.

Variety is the name of the game for August 7

We can discern no particular unifying theme for Wednesday, August 7, but there is a wide variety of things to celebrate if you are so inclined.

Wednesday, for example, will be Lighthouse Day, commemorating the day when the Lighthouses Act of 1789 was adopted, creating the U.S. Lighthouse Service.

Wednesday will also be Purple Heart Day because, on August 7, 1782, George Washington created the award that he called the "Badge for Military Merit." This award was revived and repurposed in the 20th Century as the Purple Heart.

On the frivolous side, Wednesday is Particularly Preposterous Packaging Day, an alliterative, tongue-twisting microminiholidayette honoring -- in a less than serious way -- the idiots who package useful things in packages that can't be opened without a PhD in engineering.

In the Muslim world, Ramadan, the month of fasting, is finally at an end. On Wednesday evening, then, Muslims break the long fast by celebrating Eid al-Fitr. Pope Francis has posted Eid greetings on line.

Tuesday is the 30th Annual National Night Out

Tuesday, August 6, will be the 30th Annual National Night Out. National Night Out, or as its promoters like to call it, "America's Night Out Against Crime," began in 1984. The purpose was and is "to promote involvement in crime prevention activities, police-community partnerships, neighborhood camaraderie and send a message to criminals letting them know that neighborhoods are organized and fighting back." National Night Out now involves over 37 million people in 15,000 communities in all 50 states, U.S. Territories, military bases and even some Canadian cities. Check to see if your community is participating.

Tuesday is also National Fresh Breath Day, so brush your teeth or take a mint or something before going out to greet your neighbors for National Night Out. Celebrate National Night Out with a root beer float; Tuesday is also Root Beer Float Day.

On a somber note, Tuesday is also Hiroshima Day, the day remembering the dropping of the A-bomb on that Japanese city, 68 years ago.

Some 70,000 people died in the city when the Hiroshima atomic bomb was detonated -- but 100,000 died in the entirely "conventional" firebombing of Tokyo just five months earlier, on March 10, 1945. Of course, only one plane was involved in the devastation of Hiroshima; over 300 B-29s took part in the Tokyo raid. (Another difference in the two events was the aftermath. Fallout and radiation claimed another 30,000 victims in Hiroshima by the end of 1945, according to the U.S. Department of Energy, and 200,000 or more may have died within five years of the blast due to radiation exposure.)

But American strategists believed that the bombings saved lives -- Japanese as well as American.

This may seem farfetched today. But the Pacific War had been unbelievably bloody.

In February 1945, 70,000 Americans faced 22,000 Japanese defenders on Iwo Jima. The Japanese would not surrender; they did not expect to survive. They didn't. And they killed 6,000 Americans along the way, wounding another 20,000 more.

The Battle of Okinawa followed. From April 1 until roughly June 21, American and other allied forces vied for control of the large island and its smaller neighbors. Of the 117,000 Japanese defenders, nearly 110,000 (94%) died. American land forces numbered 182,000 at the start of the battle (including Marines and Navy personnel under Army command). Some 12,500 were killed; there were 62,000 casualties in all -- one in three! Because of kamikaze attacks, Navy losses at sea were also steep, with 4,907 killed and 4,874 wounded. Estimates vary as to the civilian death toll -- anywhere from a tenth to a third of the population was killed in the battle -- as many as 150,000 killed.

Okinawa was to be the jumping off point for the Allied invasion of the Japanese "Home Islands." The hundreds of thousands of American troops in Europe -- idle now after V-E Day -- spent the Summer of 1945 nervously awaiting transfer to the Pacific theater. Given the casualty rates in other Pacific-theater landings, it is reasonable to say that many of these men lived because so many in Hiroshima died.

Japanese military strategy was brutally simple: Fight to the death for each inch of ground -- and thereby make the war so terrible, so costly, so bloody, that the Allies would give up and sue for peace. Once the guns were silenced, Japan believed it could hold on to its conquests (or even win back some of what it had already lost) at the negotiation table; the Japanese were certain that the West would be that reluctant to start shooting again.

From President Harry Truman's standpoint, the atomic bombs were a last-chance gamble to avoid full-scale invasion. The weapons employed were unbelievably terrible, but the worst thing about them, from the Japanese military standpoint, was that the bombs were visited upon Japan by single airplanes, leaving no chance for the dug-in defenders to inflict massive American casualties.

The Japanese did not know whether what happened on August 6, 1945 in Hiroshima (and a week later in Nagasaki) might happen in all of their cities, one by one, or two by two. They did not know that America used up its entire nuclear stockpile in the two attacks -- and because they did not know, but because they feared what might happen, the Japanese surrendered.

On Hiroshima Day, we remember the horrible choices both Japan and America faced in 1945 -- and we pray we make better choices in the future.

Work Like a Dog Day sounds more appropriate for Monday than another International Beer Day, doesn't it?

See what happens when we start to recognize microminiholidayettes dedicated to beer? They proliferate. We told you International Beer Day was Friday, August 2. Several of the Usual Suspects would have you believe that Monday, August 5 is International Beer Day instead. Or in addition.

If you can get away with extending your weekend, more power to you.

For the rest of us, Work Like a Dog Day sounds more appropriate for another darned Monday.

Interestingly, International Assistance Dog Week starts today, August 4, and runs through August 10. So... does Working Like a Dog Day refer to, you know, working like a dog, nose to the grindstone, and all that sort of stuff or does Working Like a Dog Day refer to working like an assistance dog -- guiding and comforting and all that sort of stuff? Usual Suspect Holiday Insights suggests the former... but we are not entirely persuaded. We leave it to you to sort out this cosmic conundrum, over one or more beers if you insist.

Monday August 5 is also National Underwear Day, at least in the opinion of corporate sponsor Freshpair.com. To celebrate the occasion, Freshpair is trying to round up as many people as possible to come out to New York's Times Square (at Broadway between 46th and 47th St.) between 5:00 and 7:30 EST -- in their skivvies of course -- in an effort to break one of the more obscure Guinness world records. Participants must be 18 or over -- and there are other rules besides. Among these are:

1. Men must be wearing underpants, boxers, boxer briefs or briefs. They cannot be wearing shirts, undershirts, or jock straps.
2. Women must wear underpants, thongs (not too revealing; allowed on a case-by-case basis), shapewear or boyshorts (that are clearly underwear). Shirts or full coverage bras are also permitted.

One wonders whether self-proclaimed "New York City icon" The Naked Cowboy will be participating.

Maureen McCormick as Marcia Brady

The United States Army abolished flogging on August 5, 1861. But the first income tax was levied on August 5, 1861 as well.

Usual Suspect History.com says that the first stop light was installed on August 5, 1914 in Cleveland, Ohio (at the corner of Euclid Avenue and East 105th Street). Unfortunately, the linked article does not mention when the first ticket was issued for running that red light. We're guessing August 6, 1914.

The first man to walk on the Moon, Neil Armstrong, was born on August 5, 1930. He died just last year.

And if that doesn't make you feel old -- actress Maureen McCormick, who portrayed Marcia Brady on TV's Brady Bunch, turns 57 on Monday. She was born August 5, 1956.

Coast Gaurd and chocolate chips, sisters and single working women all on August 4

Congress created the Coast Guard on August 4, 1790, approving a proposal made by Treasury Secretary Alexander Hamilton for the construction of ten cutters to protect the new nation's revenue.

According to the Wikipedia entry for Coast Guard Day, the service got its present name in 1915 when Congress "merged the Revenue Cutter Service with the U.S. Life-Saving Service, and provided the nation with a single maritime service dedicated to saving life at sea and enforcing the nation's maritime laws."

For years a creature of the Treasury Department, the Coast Guard was transferred to the U.S. Department of Transportation in 1967 and then, after 9/11, to the Department of Homeland Security. According to the Coast Guard website, on August 4, 1949 Congress "confirmed that the Coast Guard was a branch of the armed forces of the United States, [and] confirmed it in its general functions of marine safety, maritime law enforcement, and military readiness to operate as a service in the Navy upon declaration of war or when the president directs."

Fair warning: Celebration of Coast Guard Day will almost certainly not be accepted as an excuse should you be accused of boating under the influence on Sunday.

Sunday will also be Chocolate Chip Day -- which seems rather random. Couldn't any day be Chocolate Chip Day?

Sunday is Sister's Day and, according to some of the Usual Suspects, Single Working Women Day. If your sister is a single working woman, you have a twofer. Perhaps you can bake chocolate chip cookies in celebration?

Percy Bysshe Shelley, the English poet, was born on August 4, 1822.

According to Wikipedia, Louis Armstrong was born on August 4, 1901. If you thought ol' Satch was born on the 4th of July, you're not alone. Armstrong used to claim that he was born on July 4, 1900 -- but his true August birthdate was discovered years after he died (in 1971).

Samuel J. Tilden died on August 4, 1886. Tilden won the popular vote for President of the United States in 1876 -- but lost in the Electoral College to Rutherford B. Hayes when three states in the still-being-Reconstructed South (Florida -- what else is new? -- Louisiana and South Carolina) each sent two sets of electors. Without these three states, Tilden had 184 electoral votes. He need only 185 to win the election. A commission established to resolve the controversy, however, voted 8-7, along party lines, to award all the disputed states to Hayes... who thus received (just barely) the 185 votes needed for election.

The linked Wikipedia article quotes Tilden as saying, "I can retire to public life with the consciousness that I shall receive from posterity the credit of having been elected to the highest position in the gift of the people, without any of the cares and responsibilities of the office."

To this day, Tilden remains the only presidential candidate to receive a majority of the popular vote (he got 51%) and not be elected President.

We know... we know... you're thinking about Al Gore in 2000 and, yes, it's true that Gore did garner more popular votes that George W. Bush, 50,999,897 to 50,456,002. But Gore won only 48.4% of the popular vote, not a majority.

Food microminiholidayettes abound on August 3

Why, you may wonder, do we open up this post with the logo for the Food Network TV show Chopped?

Well, as it happens, August 3 is

• National Watermelon Day;
• National Mustard Day -- a microminiholidayette founded by the Mustard Museum, a must-see attraction should you be forced to pass through Middleton, Wisconsin (a town near Madison); and
• Grab Some Nuts Day (an observance that we devoutly hope pertains to nuts that grow on trees).

Add one more random foodstuff (seaweed, maybe, or some sort of hideous-looking mushroom) and you'd have the sort of unseemly combination that the "chefs" always seem to find in their baskets on Chopped. Still, we know people who like to watch the program and who swear that these often horrifying combinations can and do result in dishes that are actually edible.

Celebrate any of these microminiholidayettes as you see fit on Saturday, but The Blog of Days is not responsible for any attempts you may make to combine these products.

Jay North as TV's
Dennis the Menace

Today, August 2, meanwhile, is Pie Day in Braham, Minnesota. Hopefully none of these homemade pies will try and combine watermelon, mustard and nuts.

A couple of very prominent octogenarians have birthdays on August 3. Former Buffalo Bills Coach Marv Levy, a Chicago native, turns 88 (he was born August 3, 1925). Singer Tony Bennett is exactly one year younger: He was born on August 3, 1926. And he's still touring.

Martin Sheen will be 73 on Saturday. Martha Stewart turns 72 on Saturday (she wouldn't try and combine nuts, watermelon and mustard, would she?) and Jay North, TV's Dennis the Menace, turns 62 on Saturday.

August 2: The hazards of playing poker -- and the day the Declaration of Independence was actually signed

Wild Bill Hickok met his end on August 2, 1876, playing poker in a Deadwood saloon. He was holding a pair of aces and a pair of 8's (all black) when he was gunned down by Jack McCall. Thus, the line from the old song, "Aces and eights are the dead man's hand."

Hickok preferred to sit at the poker table with his back to the wall; he really hated sitting with his back to the door -- as he was when McCall shot him.

Understandable, particularly in retrospect.

If you'd rather celebrate something other than Wild Bill Hickok's demise today, most of the Usual Suspects agree that Friday will be National Ice Cream Sandwich Day. Just don't drip any ice cream on your cards.

Usual Suspect Brownielocks.com suggests that Friday, August 2 will also be International Beer Day. Ordinarily, we're wary of microminiholidayettes that celebrate beer -- there are so many of them -- but since this will fall on a Friday... we can't see the harm.

Of course, Saddam Hussein probably couldn't see the harm in invading Kuwait -- which he did on August 2, 1990. Gulf War I followed -- and a Saudi mujahideen who'd been America's pal when he was resisting the Soviet invasion of Afghanistan became America's enemy because he couldn't stomach the idea that American troops would be stationed in Saudi Arabia while they geared up for the liberation of Kuwait. His name? Osama bin Laden.

The Declaration of Independence wasn't actually signed until August 2, 1776. The Continental Congress had voted to declare independence on July 2, and the Declaration -- a committee report, really, explaining why Congress did what it did on July 2 was passed a couple of days later -- but it took some time to make a copy of the Declaration large enough for all the delegates to sign.

Actor Peter O'Toole turns 81 on August 2. Butch Patrick -- whom you may remember as little Eddie Munster -- turns 60 on Friday.

A serious start to August: Clergy Sexual Abuse Awareness & Prevention Day

We'll pick up all the usual lightweight junk at the end of this post, but Thursday, August 1 has a serious docket entry: Clergy Sexual Abuse Awareness & Prevention Day. This particular observance is sponsored by a group that calls itself The Hope of Survivors.

This is not a Catholic issue, or a Jewish issue, or a Protestant issue -- although the linked site seems to be Protestant-tinged -- abusers cloak themselves in the traditions of many faiths. They can be anywhere where there are children.

This does not mean parents should keep their children away from all priests or ministers. We should never, ever tar the many, many good God-fearing men and women who try to do the Lord's work according to their best understanding. But be smart. Abusers can be the most charming people -- the (seemingly) nicest, most easy-going, spiritual creatures. However, no matter how wonderful you think Fr. Murphy is, or Pastor Jensen, or Rabbi Greenberg, no one ever needs to be alone with your child. Not for "prayer," not for "sleepovers" or "camping," not to keep him or her company on a long auto trip. Anyone who tries to isolate your child should be viewed with suspicion and alarm.

And don't be bamboozled by religious hooey. Luke 18:15-17 provides:

15 People were bringing even infants to him that he might touch them, and when the disciples saw this, they rebuked them.

16 Jesus, however, called the children to himself and said, "Let the children come to me and do not prevent them; for the kingdom of God belongs to such as these.

17 Amen, I say to you, whoever does not accept the kingdom of God like a child will not enter it."

You may remember this saying as 'suffer the little children to come to me.' But in a group, with other adults welcome, not one at a time. Never, ever one at a time.

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Now that we've cleared that up, Thursday is also National Girlfriends Day. (The Blog of Days is not responsible for the consequences to any married men caught participating in this observance.)

Safer for married men might be Lughnasadh, a Celtic harvest festival -- and a warning, therefore, that the Summer, so soon begun, is almost done.

You're on your own as to how to pronounce Lughnasadh, and this Wikipedia entry on the subject will no doubt confuse you further.

August 1 will also be National Raspberry Cream Pie Day and, in England, according to Usual Suspect Days of the Year, Yorkshire Day

Wednesday is Mutts Day, Uncommon Instruments Day

Wednesday, July 31 is pegged as Mutt's Day by a number of the Usual Suspects. Mutt's Day is a celebration of the randomly mixed breed dog, the product of some nocturnal fence jumping or hole-digging, and has nothing whatsoever to do with designer mixed breeds like Cockapoos or Labradoodles.

There are still mutts out there somewhere, aren't there?

Glass armonica photo obtained from the Franklin Institute.

Wednesday is also Uncommon Instrument Awareness Day. The linked site suggests that cornets and valve trombones are both uncommon. We'd agree with the latter, but not so much with the former. We'd suggest that, if one is going to go for uncommon, why not consider the glass harmonica? Benjamin Franklin invented it (he called it the "glass armonica"). According to Wikipedia, Marie Antoinette took glass harmonica lessons (though not from Ben Franklin); Wolfgang Amadeus Mozart, George Frideric Handel, Ludwig van Beethoven, and Richard Strauss all composed for the instrument.

Not sufficiently uncommon? Well, how about the Electro-Theremin? That was the source of the unique sound of the Beach Boys' "Good Vibrations." The Electro-Theremin was created by Paul Tanner, a trombonist who'd played with Glenn Miller, and Bob Whitsell, an amateur inventor -- and apparently they only made the one machine. Tanner passed away this past February, at the age of 95. You can get to an 2000 interview Tanner gave to NPR by clicking here.

Gary Lewis, of the 1960s group Gary Lewis and the Playboys, turns 67 on July 31. Yes, Gary Lewis is the son of Jerry Lewis. And actor Barry Van Dyke turns 62 on Wednesday. Barry Van Dyke is the son of Dick Van Dyke. This makes some of us feel very old.

On Tuesday, get your father-in-law a paperback, or maybe a nice cheesecake

Most of the Usual Suspects agree that tomorrow, Tuesday, July 30, will be Father-in-Law Day. Usual Suspect Brownielocks.com is among those who also suggests that tomorrow will be Paperback Book Day.

We don't know about you, but, when we think of this, our internal soundtrack automatically cues up a song by the Beatles:

Dear Sir or Madam, will you read my book?

It took me years to write, will you take a look?

It's based on a novel by a man named Lear

And I need a job, so I want to be a paperback writer....

Perhaps paperback books are viewed today as somewhat quaint -- nearly obsolete -- given that so many books can be crammed into those ubiquitous reading devices one sees while riding the bus or train.

But for all their advantages,

those Kindles and Nooks

can draw the attention of villains and crooks

Well, perhaps we won't branch into poetry.  But, the point is that no thief is likely to snatch a paperback from your hands as you read in the subway.  And a paperback book ruined at the beach is a lot easier to replace than a reader.  Just sayin'....

Tuesday is also National Cheesecake Day. Cheesecake would make a nice gift for your father-in-law, too.

In Chicago, Eli's Cheesecake is perhaps the place to go for cheesecake.

We mentioned Eli's last year on National Cheesecake Day and soon thereafter received one of our first real emails, from Eli's President, Marc Schulman. He offered to send us a sample -- which was very nice. We couldn't accept, of course, but we were thrilled that our then-brand new site had already attracted some attention. We take this opportunity to thank you publicly, Mr. Schulman.

Jimmy Hoffa disappeared on July 30, 1975. Despite a flurry of rumors earlier this year, and some new excavation, Mr. Hoffa is still missing.

Casey Stengel was born on July 30, 1890. Also celebrating birthdays on July 30 are MLB Commissioner Bud Selig, Arnold Schwarzenegger, and Paul Anka.

Garfield the Cat would be happy on Monday

Garfield the Cat would be happy on Monday, July 29. The Usual Suspects tell us that Monday will be Lasagna Day.

Usual Suspect Brownielocks.com suggests that Monday will be Chicken Wing Day. The City of Buffalo decreed the first Chicken Wing Day on July 29, 1977.

And Monday is Rain Day in Waynesburg, Pennsylvania. Follow the link. The good people of Waynesburg really want it to rain on their parade Monday....

Parents' Day, July 28. If you missed Mother's Day or Father's Day, here's your chance to make good.

Parents' Day is celebrated on the fourth Sunday in July, which is July 28 this year. But... didn't we have Mother's Day in May and Father's Day in June?

We think this must be a make-good day -- if you're one of those rotten whelps who failed one parent or the other on their designated day, here's a chance for redemption.

Don't blow it.

July 28 is also the anniversary of the birth of Rudy Vallée, born July 28, 1901.

How do we explain Rudy Vallée?

Hmmmm. The young girls these days go for Justin Bieber, right? Or Harry Styles or one of the other boys of One Direction?

Well... their mothers went for the New Kids on the Block or the Back Street Boys or Justin Timberlake and 'N Sync, right?

And their moms, the Baby Boomers, screamed for the Beatles or, if they were a little younger, for Bobby Sherman or David Cassidy -- or, maybe, if they were a few years older, for Elvis. You've heard stories, anyway.

And their moms -- the Bobbysoxers -- swooned for Frankie Sinatra, right?

Well, before Frank Sinatra came Bing Crosby.

But Der Bingle wasn't the first.

Rudy Vallée was the first.

Saturday is National Bagpipes Day, Scotch Day... and Take Your Pants for a Walk Day?

No, it's not St. Patrick's Day again. But some of the Usual Suspects claim that Saturday, July 27 will be National Bagpipes Day, also referred to as Bagpipe Appreciation Day.

Well, we appreciate bagpipes. We even like bagpipes -- at least in moderation.

Someone once said that the only thing better than 30 minutes of rousing bagpipe music was 15 minutes of rousing bagpipe music.

That seems about right.

And, speaking of moderation, Usual Suspect Punchbowl.com includes Scotch Day among its lists of observances for Saturday -- but it doesn't give that top billing.

Actually, a little scotch (or, if you prefer, a little Irish whiskey) makes bagpipe music sound all that much better.

Too much whiskey, though, and you may find yourself celebrating Take Your Pants for a Walk Day. This sounds like a microminihoidayette invented by Anthony Weiner. If you must take your pants for a walk Saturday, stay in them. Please. Unless, we suppose, you're wearing a kilt?

All or Nothing Day, Aunts and Uncles Day, and talking in elevators may not be as subversive as it once might have been

Several of the Usual Suspects suggest that Friday, July 26 will be All or Nothing Day -- a day to remember to live each day as if it were your last. That's fine advice, of course, but we can't find out why July 26 should be singled out for the purpose of making this reminder.

If you observed Cousins Day on the 24th, your cousins' parents -- i.e., your aunts and uncles -- may have felt left out.

They needn't have worried. Salve the unintended rift in your family by making a big fuss over Aunts and Uncles Day. No, seriously. Several of the Usual Suspects put that on the docket for Friday as well.

But the big microminiholidayette for Friday appears to be Talk on an Elevator Day.

Ooooh, subversive, right? Rebuild that lost sense of community, one elevator car at a time....
We tend to think not. Have you been on an elevator lately? If you do talk chances are no one will hear you because your fellow elevator passengers are grooving out on their headphones or earbuds. If someone does hear you, they'll probably figure you're just talking to your phone. People do.

Burns and Allen

Even if it is rude.

Friday is also Independence Day in Liberia.

And it was on July 26, 1948, that President Harry S Truman signed Executive Order 9981, desegregating America's armed forces.

George Bernard Shaw was born on July 26, 1856 in Dublin. It was Shaw who said, "England and America are two countries separated by a common language."

Gracie Allen (of George Burns and Gracie Allen) was born on July 26, 1895. Say goodnight, Gracie.

Thread the Needle Day has nothing to do with sewing, the face on Mars isn't real, and other disappointments

Brownielocks.com is among the Usual Suspects to identify Thursday, July 25 as Thread the Needle Day. Usual Suspect Holiday Insights is among those that suggest (not unreasonably) that Thread the Needle Day must have something to do with sewing. (The one day a year when one's hands are steady enough to thread a needle, perhaps?) But Brownielocks says Thread the Needle Day commemorates a game. Children can play it anytime (the lucky devils) but grownups are restricted to one day a year. Today, apparently. To prove her contention, Brownielocks links to this source, which describes says that this as a game in which two of the players hold their arms up in an arch and the others run through -- threading the needle. This is done repeatedly, with different couples taking turns to form the arch.

You may find this disappointing.

Many found it disappointing to realize that the "Face on Mars" wasn't really a face.
It was on July 25, 1976 that NASA's Viking I probe snapped this photo of the Cydonia region of Mars. (You mean that John Carter and Dejah Thoris don't live happily ever after on Barsoom?)

And folk purists were disappointed by Bob Dylan July 21, 1965 when he appeared at the Newport Folk Festival -- The audience wanted their folk music straight, but Dylan plugged in that day (with Mike Bloomfield on lead guitar, Al Kooper on organ, Jerome Arnold on bass, Sam Lay on drums, and Barry Goldberg on piano). He wanted to 'electrify' the audience, perhaps, but, according to most observers, the aficionados booed.

And, speaking of folk music, Steve Goodman was born on July 25, 1948. His music didn't disappoint -- but he left us far too soon (in 1984).

Amelia Earhart Day, Cousins Day, Tequila Day...

A lot of the Usual Suspects proclaim Wednesday, July 24 as Amelia Earhart Day. Earhart was born on July 24, 1897. She disappeared, of course, while attempting a round-the-world flight with Fred Noonan. Exactly where their Lockheed Electra 10E went down is not known; a lot of current speculation focuses on Gardner Island (now Nikumaroro) in the Phoenix group, roughly 350 miles southeast of Howland Island, where the plane was supposed to stop. The International Group for Historic Aircraft Recovery (TIGHAR) is the leading proponent of the Nikumaroro hypothesis. Will anything ever be proven? Who knows? Last month CNBC reported on the discovery of some forgotten photos in a New Zealand museum that show Nikumaroro -- and may just show evidence of someone (Earhart?) living there, or having lived there, as a castaway.

We don't know all there is to know about Amelia Earhart's last days, but we do know that Wednesday is Cousins Day, a good excuse to call your cousins without there being a wedding... or funeral... involved.

Wednesday is also National Tequila Day. We're not sure why. We're also not sure it matters.

Never officially canonized by the Catholic Church, but revered as a saint down the centuries, Usual Suspect SQPN.com notes that Wednesday is the unofficial feast day of Christina the Astonishing. The Wikipedia article on Christina, sometimes referred to as Christina Mirabilis (1150-1224), relates how

she would throw herself into burning furnaces and there suffered great tortures for extended times, uttering frightful cries, yet coming forth with no sign of burns upon her. In winter she would plunge into the frozen Meuse River for hours and even days and weeks at a time, all the while praying to God and imploring God's mercy. She sometimes allowed herself to be carried by the currents downriver to a mill where the wheel "whirled her round in a manner frightful to behold," yet she never suffered any dislocations or broken bones. She was chased by dogs which bit and tore her flesh. She would run from them into thickets of thorns, and, though covered in blood, she would return with no wound or scar.

She actively sought out opportunities to suffer because of a vision she'd had after suffering a seizure in her early 20's. It was thought she had died, and that is indeed what she said had happened -- after she revived during her funeral Mass.

She described how, after she'd 'died' angels took her to a very gloomy place, filled with souls:

"I saw among them many of my acquaintances," [she said] and, touched deeply by their sad condition, asked if this was Hell, but was told that it was Purgatory. Her angel guides brought her to Hell where again she recognized those she had formerly known. Next she was transported to Heaven, "even to the Throne of Divine Majesty" where she was "regarded with a favorable eye" and she experienced extreme joy and these words were spoken to her, "Assuredly, My dear daughter, you will one day be with Me. Now, however, I allow you to choose, either to remain with Me henceforth from this time, or to return again to Earth to accomplish a mission of charity and suffering. In order to deliver from the flames of Purgatory those souls which have inspired you with so much compassion, you shall suffer for them upon Earth: you shall endure great torments, without however dying from their effects. And not only will you relieve the departed, but the example which you will give to the living, and your continual suffering, will lead sinners to be converted and to expiate their crimes. After having ended this new life, you shall return here laden with merits.

Despite her subjecting herself to all these various torments (sort of a medieval version of "Jackass"), the prioress at the abbey where Catherine resided said that Catherine was always completely obedient to the orders of the prioress.

Catherine the Astonishing is considered a patron saint of the mentally ill.

National Hot Dog Day, Gorgeous Grandma Day

Tuesday, July 23 is National Hot Dog Day. Pictured above is a Chicago style hot dog (image obtained here). Trust us, there is a hot dog in there somewhere.

You can find almost anything on a Chicago-style hot dog. There is one big exception: What you won't find on a Chicago style hot dog is ketchup. There are places in Chicago where -- if you are older than about 10, at least -- you will be publicly shamed if you attempt to put ketchup on a hot dog. (No, we don't know why this is.)

Nor do we know why Tuesday is Gorgeous Grandma Day. We just know that, the older we get, the more appealing the idea is to us.

Pied Piper Day, Hammock Day, Casual Pi Day, Spoonerism Day

Pied Piper Day sounds a little better than National Ratcatcher's Day, doesn't it? But we're talking about the same observance, really. Whatever you choose to call it, it is observed on Monday, July 22.

And if you know the story of The Pied Piper of Hamelin, you know that it's not a not a cheery tale no matter what you call it. Wikipedia publishes all the theories about what may have happened in Hamelin to the town's children, but apparently something bad did occur there, back in 1284... or 1386... or maybe 1484. Whenever it happened, the lesson is clear: Don't stiff the pest control person.

(Especially if he's one of those catch-and-release types.)

Monday will also be Hammock Day -- a day to lay back and relax in the backyard hammock... except that it will be Monday. The Blog of Days is not responsible for any action that may be taken by your employer should you decide to stay home tomorrow in observance of Hammock Day.

Regular visitors will remember that March 14 is Pi Day... a celebration of that handy irrational number that begins 3.14. But July 22 is referred to as Casual Pi Day because, back in the slide rule days, we sometimes expressed π as 22/7. It was a rather informal, "casual" way of expressing the constant, but still useful in many calculations. What's a slide rule, you ask? You know what, forget we mentioned it.

Monday is also Spoonerism Day, honoring the anniversary of the birth of William Archibald Spooner (July 22, 1844 - August 29, 1930), the Oxford don whose occasionally garbled syntax inspired the word "spoonerism." Usual Suspect Checkiday.com links to an amusing 2006 post on a blog called Word Daze: The Word Lover's Almanac that explains what spoonerisms are and how to translate (or construct) your own.

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The artwork with today's post is an image of a painting by Patrick Hiatt obtained from Fine Art America. You can buy copies of the painting by clicking on this link and (if our crack research staff has not bungled it) you can even buy the original painting from the artist.